May 2013
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Blueberries piss me the fuck off
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They’re BLUE.
but mashed, they’re PURPLE??
AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN?????
WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!
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nothisiscarlie:
“Harry witnessed Professor McGonagall walking right past Peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, ‘It unscrews the other way.’”
#this is why the books are better
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Girl: I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
Girl: Where is he?
Dad: Don't you know who gave you the heart?
Girl: (Starts crying)
Dad: Im just kidding he went to the bathroom. Gullible bitch.
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